Monday, January 9, 2012

Forward and Backward

It is a new year and I'm drawn into reflection and pushed toward expectation. I look back at the last couple of tumultuous years and I find myself in an unforeseen place. I'm such a dramatically different person, that its difficult to put into words. 
Two years ago, this month, I lost my father. We had a very special bond and I believed that from him, I inherited my creativity. When he was gone, You could say that my life went into a sort of tailspin. It seemed a large vacuum opened up and sucked away the meaning behind much of my life. I mean, most of my habits, interests, and routines were left without significance or purpose. I kept saying, "What does this mean, anyway?" "Why am I doing the things I do, what's the point?" I was struck with how short and precious life is. I was forced to question the little life I had made for myself. Was I using it wisely? Could I use it for more? If I decided to live to the absolute best of my ability, what would that look like? Where would I wind up? Although, confusing; I decided to veer off my comfortable route and start down "the path less traveled".
There's no way I could explain all that I have experienced in this one post, because lets face it...who would read all that? I'm bringing this up now, because I feel I'm at a place where I understand myself more. I sort of found myself again, but I'm different. It seems time to share what I've learned. I haven't blogged much during these two years, because design and interiors no longer have the same meaning to me. I've struggled with how to talk about deeper things on a "design blog". I still don't have an answer. I think I just have to make a sort of break. I will explain myself better in future posts.  Don't get me wrong, I still plan on writing about design, but with the perspective that interiors should have a deeper purpose and not just be nice to look at. My goal is just to live life more authentically and with more creativity. I'm anxious to use this blog as a means of exploration!
So, for those of you who stuck with me this long, I say thanks and I hope we have a great new year of blessings and learning!
Photo via This Great and Lonely Space

4 comments:

Bluebells and Lavender said...

Hi Carolina, may I extend my sympathies at your loss, which is huge, loosing a father...and thank you for sharing such intimate thoughts with us who peer into your world a few days a week or a month. Life is a journey and it seems like you have found your way or at least, you are on your way to seeing the world on a much deeper lever.

Hello Lover... said...

I am so sorry to hear that this has been so hard on you. Cheers to a new years!

The Urban Market Houston Antique Show said...

Can't wait to see what you have in store for us! I'll be reading!
Happy New Year!
jackie

vgosh Interior said...

Thanks for the nice post. that we are office Interiors in chennai, home Interiors in chennai and Interiors Designing in chennai .That I will inform about your post to my friends and all the best for your future post..